


Pages of a journal

by awordbroken, duvvang



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alfred Pennysworth (mentioned), Bruce Wayne (mentioned) - Freeform, Cassandra Cain (mentioned) - Freeform, Diary/Journal, Dick Grayson (mentioned) - Freeform, Duke Thomas (mentioned) - Freeform, Jason Todd (mentioned) - Freeform, Other, ultra specific AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 15:13:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18524104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awordbroken/pseuds/awordbroken, https://archiveofourown.org/users/duvvang/pseuds/duvvang
Summary: tim goes thru some things.damian tries to understand.





	1. Damian's entries

**Author's Note:**

> (mostly written by duvvang!)  
> its rly important to know that this fic does not take place in any canon continuity. this fic takes place in an au thats basically just the comic continuity but it steals the joker jr plot thing from that one batman beyond movie (minus the weird..joker chip thing implanted into tim)
> 
> also. theses obviously aren't all of damians journal entries in order but. theyre the ones relevant to the plot

_~~September first~~ _

 

~~Hah! We finally found Drake after a month of him being missing. Well. Father and Richard did. That is, however, irrelevant.. Father’s refused to tell me what happened to him, but I believe it’s because Drake just got beaten so hard by some rogue and he didn’t want to admit it! So he just ran away for a month! I wouldn’t be too surprised if that did end up being the case, to be quite honest.~~

~~-Damian Wayne.~~

* * *

 

_September third_

 

Father finally explained the situation to me. I might have not had the full view beforehand.

* * *

 

 

_September fourth_

 

I fed Batcow today. Usually it’s Pennyworth that does it, (Thank you for that, if you are reading this by the way...Get out of my ~~diary~~ journal though.) but I decided Batcow deserved to be fed by her dad today.

  
  


I hope Drake recovers.

-Damian Wayne.

 

* * *

 

_September thirteenth_

 

I talked to Richard about all of this. Due to the fact he was one of the people to find Drake, I thought he might be a good person to confront about this. The advice he gave was much simpler then I imagined though. He just told me to give Drake some time. And space. I suppose I won’t see drake for a while then. That… should be fine.

-Damian Wayne.

* * *

 

_September fifteenth_

 

I’m trying to give Drake some space. It is much harder than I thought it would be. I never knew I would be telling myself this, but I miss his company.

-Damian Wayne.

* * *

 

_September twenty-second_

 

It’s been very silent for the past few weeks. Father has been giving me less patrols and I suspect it is so I can interact with Drake more often, but I’m honestly not sure how.

It’s not only Drake who has been silent for expected reasons. Richard’s silence is perhaps most unnerving considering how he is usually boisterous. I do wonder how long Drake will be recovering for...I don’t expect this to be easy for him.

 

* * *

 

_November twenty-seventh_

 

Despite me trying to give Drake some space, it appears Father still wants the opposite for me. He did not let me go on patrol tonight, for the fifth time this month and the seventeenth time in 3 months. It’s so that I could ‘bond with my brother’, as he always says. Whatever.

Maybe I should show Drake my animals.

* * *

 

This wasn’t supposed to happen, I don’t know what went wrong ~~I think it’s my fault~~ Pennyworth is here ~~I hope he’s not angry with me~~ I’m just scared and worried I was just showing ~~Timothy~~ Drake my animals and he started randomly laughing and then that turned into crying and I didn’t know what to do so I told Pennyworth and he had to escort Drake to his room and I followed but I didn’t want them knowing so now I’m just outside Drake’s room not knowing what to do.

* * *

 

I’m calmer now. Pennyworth explained to me that the things...Joker (just writing that name puts a horrible taste in my mouth.) did to Timothy still occasionally affect him. He will be okay but..It might take a few days to recover. I heard a bit of Drake’s conversation with Pennyworth (Although very one-sided. Timothy has gone pretty silent since his return, I believe I’ve alluded to this in a previous entry.) and Pennyworth mentioned Timothy might have to go to see his therapist again this week and it still makes me awfully worried that part of this was still my fault.

 

* * *

 

_December third_

 

Jason is here with his inconsistent ‘bi-monthly’ (his words, not mine.) visits. I decided I’d ask him for advice however, since he also has..bad experiences with the Joker. Perhaps that wasn’t the best idea. As he told me I should try and plot his murder. But writing this down makes me realize it doesn’t sound too bad. Father would definitely be against it though…

* * *

 

_December fifth_

 

I have just had a very unpleasant dream. Mother was there.

While initially I thought someone crying was a part of it, I can still hear it.

 

I think it's Timothy.

 

I'm not sure if I should do anything. Maybe I will wake Father or Pennyworth up.

 

* * *

Father woke up, too. I think he's walking over to Timothy's room. Maybe he can help.

 

The crying has now stopped. I'm still having difficulty sleeping despite that. I hope at least he can sleep better.

* * *

 

_December tenth_

  


I'm off patrol once more. Since there is nothing much else I could do, I suppose talking to Timothy might be viable. I suppose I should avoid talking about the subject matter of animals due to past events. I expect that to pose a major challenge for me, because I'm not sure what else to talk about.

 

I will compile a list of topics he might be interested in discussing. That might help. Let's see.

 

~~-Robin-relate~~

-Video games

-Books perhaps? (I have been reading this detective book he might like...)

 

My mind is unfortunately blank right now trying to think of anything else. I guess therefore I will try to bring up the subject of books. I could talk about the one I'm reading.

I should probably talk to Timothy more often. How short my list is really displays that I barely even know what he likes.  


* * *

 

It appears this was a success. I described the plot of the book I'm currently reading and he seemed interested. Furthermore, since Pennyworth didn't need to get involved, I'll take that as a good sign!

* * *

 

_December fifteenth_

 

I completed the book I talked about on my entry from five days ago. I let Timothy borrow it as well, I hope he enjoys it. Think of it as an early Christmas gift.

 

* * *

 

_December twenty-fifth_

 

It will be my third Christmas at the Wayne Manor . Father says to come down in ten minutes. Most of my siblings are already there. I wonder if Timothy will join. I doubt it though. Father also said Stephanie might come along later too. And a few other people. Like Richard’s significant other. Kory, I believe her name was.

* * *

He didn't join.

The celebration of this date is typically pleasant enough, and like for the past two years I too am enjoying myself today. However, there is a distinct lack of conversation when compared to the previous Christmases due to Timothy's absence. While usually I would enjoy quieter days, this is once again the unnerving type of inactivity.

Father just toasted us. As always, he also raised a toast to "those who can't be here with us today." I think that this has an additional meaning apart from the usual one this year.

* * *

 

I'm glad I gave Timothy the book before today. We're opening the presents now.

* * *

 

Someone's knocking at the doors. We're not expecting anyone else. I should see who it is, I'm the closest.

* * *

 

To everyone's surprise, it was Timothy. He joined us! He looked tired, but... he was smiling. And not in the bad way. A lot of things happened after that, because I think we all missed his presence. I thought Father was going to cry at a few points.

It's very late now and Father says I should finally go to sleep, but I can't help but be... content about everyone being in the same room again. It has been a long time now. I think Timothy really is getting better now.


	2. Tim's entry [epilogue]

March second.

 

~~ Damian told me ~~

 

~~ I guess I ~~

 

~~ I don’t really. Really know what to talk about so, ~~

 

I guess. I could. I could start by describing my surroundings. I’m currently. Currently writing this on a desk. A desk that’s. That’s pretty sturdy I guess? It. It does it’s job. I guess. My room..Is kindof plain..So. So there’s not alot to write about. There’s. There’s my bed. It’s comfortable.  ~~ I’ve been laying around in it alot. As of. As of late. ~~

 

Um. What else can I. Can I write about? I could also. Also write about. About my family. They’re. Nice. 

I’ll...start with Dick. He’s. He’s nice. I don’t think I’d be where I am with. Without him.  ~~ But maybe if I had stayed in. In my lane from the start none of this would have happened. ~~

 

Then. Then there’s Jason. He didn’t really. Really like me at first. I’m. I’m still definitely not his favourite. Favourite person in the world but we’ve gotten along. Somewhat better.  ~~ He. Got killed by the Joker once but came. Came back to life. Around the time I became robin. ~~

 

Uhh..then there’s. Damian. We didn’t. Get along much. But our relationship has definitely gotten better. I think. He’s been calling me Timothy more than Drake more often. He’s the current robin. And uh. He really likes animals. He adopts basically any  stray? wild animal he sees. No matter what it is. ~~He showed me them once.~~ ~~ But. I ended up having one of my random fits of laughter and. It turned into crying and Alfred had to bring me back to my room. ~~ I liked Batcow..

 

Who..who else can I talk about. There’s Duke. But he’s newer. Newer to the whole Wayne family thing. I don’t really. Really see him often because I stay in my room so much. I only see him when we like. We eat together. Have holidays where the family is all together. And stuff. But he seems nice.

Cass is. Is really great too. We get along decently. I think. I’m. mostly non-verbal. She’s mute. So we have that in common now. I guess. Even before ~~the incident~~ we got along quite well. We. don’t interact much anymore but. It’s nice when we do.

 

Oh. I haven’t. Mentioned Bruce yet. He’s trying his best to be gentle with me after what happened. As soon as I got out of the hospital he tried finding me a therapist. I’ve. been thru six already but my current one is nice. She’s very patient. And. And helps me find. Coping mechanisms to deal with my trauma which is good. She’s suggested I have a diary before. But. It’s only Damian’s convincing that actually. Made me motivated enough to start. I guess it helps. A bit.

 

I’m going to uh. Stop writing now. I’ll come back to this later.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HOPE U ENJOYED THIS FIC!! its something ive been wanting to write for awhile and im really glad my friend james helped me write alot of it (esp w/ the first chapter, thus why he's credit as co-writer. he mainly just helped with the ideas for this one though.) :^) 
> 
> also follow my tumblr @jokerphobic


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